Reality. The End of Future Baby.

There’s a reason why you should keep your mouth shut about your pregnancy till your past 12 weeks because life happens… or doesn’t happen.

 My husband, S and I went to our 8 week appt. The first! The one where you get to hear and see the little baby you have been imagining in your head. We went through 90 minutes of it and then the grand finale, The Ultrasound!

 Our doctor is guiding us through the ultra sound. Here’s your uterus and, here’s the baby and then she stops, her facial expression changes to searching and a little puzzled and then a little panic, and I know.

 “What’s wrong?”

 “I see the baby but I can’t find the heart beat”.


 She showed us what she was seeing on the monitor. There was the baby and no heartbeat. No blood moving to and from the baby. She brought in another doctor for a 2nd opinion. I went into surgery the next day and been recovering ever since. We are all ok, obviously it’s a sad situation but we have a handle on things. I am “advanced maternal age”, statistically it’s 1 in 3 pregnancies with this result. 

 That being said I need to change the name of my blog. I have decided to change it to “Two Birds”. I know once I lose my url I may lose some content. Hopefully you can find me after the switch which will slowly transition over the next week.

The screaming. Please. Make it stop.

S. Ohhhh S. You are a force of incredible beautiful nature, but a force, indeed. She is bright eyed with an intelligence far beyond her 26 months. She is a tester. She will tests everything. I say no. She does it anyway. She runs for “Exit” door, staring at me the whole way, knowing what is doing is wrong. She knows what the rules are and she is intent on breaking them all. She knows exactly what buttons to push like screaming. I get it, toddlers have very little self control, are hearing their sounds for the first time and want to express themselves. They scream when they are frustrated or mad. They do this. But S will look you right in the eyes and screech and even let out a little giggle after. She knows.

At first we tried Time Out. Time out has very little effect on Simone, unless she is in the pack n play and left alone. She very much dislikes being cut off from attention (as all littles) and she needs to be confined cause she will not sit still on command. But even that didn’t curb all the screaming. I am now that mom who can no longer go out to dinner. After we exhausted all our efforts, I looked to the internet for ideas.

I have found these to be quite helpful that and a combination of times out. While we still deal with screaming I definitely feel like we are making some head way. Anybody else got a tip that works for them?

  • Control the general volume in your house. That means no blaring TV, radio, or other background noise, and — most importantly — no screaming at your toddler to stop screaming. Remember, monkey see (or hear, in this case), monkey do.
  • When your toddler starts screeching up a storm, turn on some music and suggest he sing or join you in a sing-along. Not interested? Ask him about animal sounds he can make, or bring out some musical instruments. Sure, it may still be noisy, but at least it’ll be easier on the ears than toddler screams.
  • Challenge your screaming toddler: Look him in the eye and whisper. That may catch his attention and may make him curious enough to listen (and hopefully quiet down so he can hear).
  • Teach the concept of an “inside voice” and an “outside voice.” Give a demonstration and examples of where and when they can be used (“You use your inside voice in the house and your outside voice in the backyard”).
  • Another way to encourage quiet — when your toddler’s not screaming, invite him to a whispering match. Young children have a hard time whispering (it sounds sort of like a stage whisper) but that won’t stop them from trying, especially if you make a game of it (“Can you whisper like Mommy?”).
  • If you’re in a public place, say a restaurant, and your noisemaker refuses to use his inside voice, take him outside — where his outside voice belongs. Try to do this without raising your own voice and making a fuss.
  • Provide positive reinforcement When your toddler uses his inside voice at the appropriate time and place, be sure to shower him with praise.      (                                                                 We are flying out of town next week… during nap time. O_o Not really well planned, I guess but the tickets were too good a deal to pass up. I am sooo nervous about this screaming thing is going to go. 4 hours of screaming is what it will be if she doesn’t fall asleep. HOPE beyond hope that she falls asleep and I’m not THAT mom.

Have American Parents Got It All Backwards?

Have American Parents Got It All Backwards?

“The eager new mom offering her insouciant toddler an array of carefully-arranged healthy snacks from an ice cube tray?

That was me.

The always-on-top-of-her-child’s-play parent intervening during play dates at the first sign of discord?

That was me too.

We hold some basic truths as self-evident when it comes to good parenting. Our job is to keep our children safe, enable them to fulfill their potential and make sure they’re healthy and happy and thriving.

The parent I used to be and the parent I am now both have the same goal: to raise self-reliant, self-assured, successful children. But 12 years of parenting, over five years of living on and off in Japan, two years of research, investigative trips to Europe and Asia and dozens of interviews with psychologists, child development experts, sociologists, educators, administrators and parents in Japan, Korea, China, Finland, Germany, Sweden, France, Spain, Brazil and elsewhere have taught me that though parents around the world have the same goals, American parents like me (despite our very best intentions) have gotten it all backwards.



Author, Parenting Without Borders: Surprising Lessons Parents Around the World Can Teach Us

Why French kids don’t have ADHD

Why French kids don’t have ADHD

“In the United States, at least 9% of school-aged children have been diagnosed with ADHD, and are taking pharmaceutical medications. In France, the percentage of kids diagnosed and medicated for ADHD is less than .5%. How come the epidemic of ADHD—which has become firmly established in the United States—has almost completely passed over children in France?”

Published on March 8, 2012 by Marilyn Wedge, Ph.D. in Suffer the Children 

The case against labeling and medicating children, and effective alternatives for treating them

Bath time breakthrough

S has a love/hate relationship with bath time. She loves to play with her toys and be in the bath tub but she has always been wary about water. It took her months before she allowed herself to sit in the bath, always standing in the shin high water and playing. When she finally sat her bottom in the water, we considered that a milestone achievement. In the last few months she has even dared to submerge her body and proudly say, “Look Momma! I’m swimming!”  The one thing she has never been ok with is rinsing and washing her hair and face. She always exhibits a bit of panic when the rinsing cup is filling up and tries to run away when I wash and rinse her hair.

Today I tried something different. Today I gave her a cup and said, “Rinse your own hair”. She loved that idea! She filled it up and brought it close to her head and dumped it. The water barely hit her face but she was delighted and attempted again and again. While she was “rinsing” her own head, I grabbed my own cup and started rinsing and washing her hair. She was laughing the whole way!

S is incredibly independent. She is constantly furrowing her brow trying to figure everything out. Giving her a little control over her fear was a perfect idea for her. I wish I had thought of it sooner!

The Secrets of Breast Milk

The Secrets of Breast Milk

“When we come out of the womb, we make our way to the breast. We enter the world knowing we’re mammals, with milk on our minds.

But even as grown-ups, we have never known exactly what’s in that milk—or, as strange as it may sound, what the point of it is. For decades, milk was thought of strictly in terms of nutrients, which makes sense—milk is how a mother feeds her baby, after all. But providing nutrients turns out to be only part of what milk does. And it might not even be the most important part…”